got_rice09
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Member Since: 5/20/2004

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 yeah, i download music illegally, bite me! 
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 †Jesus Is My Homeboy † 
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!! 4 the street ballaz~ !!
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Friday, July 23, 2004

NEW XANGA

!CLIK HERE!


Tuesday, June 22, 2004

take this

http://xxxsurjonoxxx.friendtest.com


Monday, June 21, 2004

REASONS Y? SOME AZN GIRLZ HAT3 AZN GUYZ!

(some of yu guyz need to read dis)

All you wannabes always talk about cars and how you want to fix it up and race and shit, but you don't even got a car! you just be driving your mama's Honda accord with your GOT RICE sticker on the bumper

You always wear the same shit on different days and spray the fake CK1 or the Uni shit.

You always have the same fades up the backside of your heads. 

What's up with the bleached bangs?

You always brag about your 2-inch killas! shoo, you're Asian damn it, admit it!

You think that dropped Civics are cool but are played out.

You always brag about breaking and how you can freak and shit but you can't move at all. so watch Soul Train and PRACTICE!

When you go to a party, you go in all the fixed up cars and leave your broke ass Datsun two blocks away.

You all go to the mall and "kick it" looking for all the 12 yr. old girls with their puffy marshmallow jackets or Nautica shirts with big boobs and their wonder bras.

You think that your import car is hella tight, but your mama paid for it, so get you broke ass to work.

On the phone, you guys try to sound all deep and always start a conversation with "Wassup..." but in person, you squeak like a damn mouse.

All you guys freaking share the same girl and you may think that you are all player, but realize that maybe you are the one being played. so there!

On your beepers you have a funky little song but it's only background noise so stop and leave a damn message.

And when you receive a page you always say it's your bitch, but it's really your mama telling you to get your broke ass home cuz she needs her car to go to the market.

You always wear those skimpy "wife-beaters", thinking you got a body to sport, but you got to get your ass to the gym and really look good.

All you freaking ugly guys get girls by having the nicest cars, but reality check! it's your car we want and not you. "The nicer the car, the smaller the dick!"

All you deejays that let us in and say that you are using us for sex all the times, we faked the orgasms and hey, we got in the club didn't we. and hey, we didn't leave with you, we left with the bouncers, cuter than your asses.

Superficial and shallow? no, you conceited bastards take pictures squatting in front of your supposed fixed up car, but it's not even yours.

And when you stand up, you scrunch your crotch making a bigger bulge, but the truth is you are just checking if it's still there, or if the sock is still in place.

You guys that sag your pants, are just trying hide your flat ass, and you always probably buy 2 sizes bigger shoes making your feet look bigger, but it's not. Chill with your size 7 shoes already.

And in the chat rooms, you assholes ask "where are all the fine girls at" and also ask "anyone got a gif to trade" but you don't got one yourself.

You think that any girl with long straight hair, big fake boobs, and a tight midriff is fine but all you want to do is fuck her.

You think that bumping music in your car is dope, so that all the cars around you vibrate.

But you are only hurting yours, ours, and your mamas ears. watch out, you are gonna get a fixing ticket.

On your Honda's and Acura's, your headlights are different and damn that's annoying, but watch out you are gonna get a fixing ticket again. And your mama's gonna take the car away.

Hey and you guys that wear FUBU, army looking pants, beenies with sunglasses, and warm-ups with slippers and dirty socks, that's out and for one thing, UGLY. Do you guys share clothes?

You think that taking a shower is rinsing your hair in the sink. yuck!

You guys drool over car magazines and wish you had the cars that them fob girls owned.

And about your dick size, shoe size x's 2 divided by three... equals the length of your manhood, which isn't much huh?

When it's 100 degrees outside, you guys wear those puffy jackets or all match with your Nautica jackets.

And you tell your guy friends that you went to a club and got a grip of numbers, actually it's another guys number who just wants to know where you got your car fixed up at.

You guys that sport that "baller look" only have it to say you ball and you always keep those damn clean, but HELLO! if you balled, you would think...

And you guys that got an automatic car, you pretend it's a stick, revving it like a stick and making it sound like a stick by downshifting to 2nd gear.

You guys use your damn fake id's to get cigarettes, but you get caught.

Older guys go to them all ages clubs and hook up with a 13 yr. old and then you tell your homeboys that they are 18.

You wannabe gangsters have your guns, but are damn cowards anyway. And when something does go down, you say you are gonna go to the car to get your gat, but you come back when everything is over.

When you guys mack with your girl, you think licking her ears is a turn on but look it feels nasty and makes this funny noise that makes us grind our teeth. stop it alright its sick..

You guys think you could get us into bed and say we are easy. But guess what. We just have to fulfill an urge..

This is to all you wannabe sweet talking guys please chew some gum before you say anything to us because that breath be kicking worse than BRUCE LEE.


Yo Momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!

Yo momma so stupid, she thought "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!!

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a spoon.

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved.

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo momma so dumb she sits on TV & watches the couch

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.

Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.

Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.

Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper .

Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.

Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess" so she said "Levi's."


You know you're Asian if...

Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
Your dad is some sort of engineer
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
You shop 99 ranch
Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage"
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs
At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say...."
You know what bok choy is
You've gotten little red envelopes around February
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you (e.g. Jean - ee - yah! or Mary - yah!)
You have no eyelashes
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc..
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin
The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher
At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!"
Everyone thinks you're good at math
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, and Wah's"
You like $1.75 movies
You like $1.50 movies even more
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green
Your parents insist you marry within your race
You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation of oriental food
You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it
Your parents have never kissed you
Your parents have never kissed each other
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents
"You want a stereo?! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate
You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle"
You have 12+ aunts and uncles
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert
Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat anyway. It's still good."
The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
You will most likely be taller than your parents
Your parents have either make you play the piano, the violin, or both
You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't
When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top
Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chan)
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine
You own a rice cooker or two
You buy soy sauce by the gallon
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.



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